Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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