i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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