He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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