So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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