mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
