I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
