i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize