I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
