So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
