'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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