this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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