You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
