Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
