i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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