Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize