I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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