i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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