I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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