i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
