He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
