So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
