Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
