We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
