and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
