god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
