If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
