I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
