Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
