Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
