You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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