maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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