We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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