im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You made out with two different species that night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
