I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I have already put on my inside pants.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
