her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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