I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
