He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize