If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
