I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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