I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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