how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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