I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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