Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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