guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
