Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We got so high we made milksteak
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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