There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
