I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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