She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
