Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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