your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
