I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize