just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
