youre lurking in front of me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
