I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
