I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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