Who did Billy Mays play for?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
