dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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