went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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