i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
