And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
