two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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