Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
