I am spending my child support on dildos
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
