In the future we'll all be gay
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize