Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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