well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
