yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize