I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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