Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
