The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
