Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
